So, my dad told me a story today that really shouldn't be funny. But it was!
First, I need to say that I am a total Daddy's Girl. I think that my dad is the greatest man on earth. Hands down, no competition. I absolutely worship the ground he walks on. Everyone knows that they had better not say a bad word about my dad, I won't allow it. I can't imagine how my life will be without him. (Dad, I know you are reading this, so don't get a big head! haha). Seriously, I think he is the best thing ever. Sure he has some quirks, but they don't even matter in the grand scheme of things.
Apparently last week he went to TJs store and got his usual, a bag of beef sticks and a Mt. Dew. He was driving home and took a bite of the beef stick and it got stuck in his throat. He said he couldn't breath. It was so bad that he pulled his pickup over and got out and was bending over trying to dislodge it. Ok, not funny I know. But hold on, bear with me, he it comes.
Picture this, side of the road, my dad, with his one good arm, trying to give himself the Heimlich maneuver. Not funny enough? He said he was one second away from throwing himself into the ditch, thinking that the momentum would dislodge the beef stick! I can picture that, and I am sorry, but that is funny.
Here is a man that survived VietNam, against all odds. They never thought he would walk or talk again, but he did. He has survived garage fires, snowmobile roll overs, 4 wheeler accidents, falls, tractors falling into ponds, all kinds of crazy accidents. And now, after all of that, the greatest man in the world was almost done in by a BEEF STICK. What in the world??? So, rather than not eating beef sticks, he has now decided to not eat in the car and to take little tiny bites.
Oh, dad. Be careful! I can't stand to lose you. Especially in a freak beef stick choking accident!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
The Trifecta Hits
So, Trifecta is one of my favorite words and I use it when I can. Now I have several reasons to use it.
Lauren got the sickness last night. SO, that makes a trifecta of sick children for me. 2 nights, all 3 girls sick. She was up for approximately the same number of hours vomiting, but it was easier, because there was one of her, she is older, and I don't have to do as much work, and hers started at 9:40 and ended at 2:30 AM. Poor kid. She is marching in the Christmas City of the North Parade tonight so she was so worried. I let her sleep in until 9 then brought her to school.
There is also a TRIFECTA of nights that I haven't slept. The night in between the vomiting Johnson Girls (that could be a sick band name... no pun intended) I spent with poor sick Auntie Helen. She had her tonsils removed 9 days ago and still isnt' feeling well. She took some medicine that made her sick and was up most of the night vomiting.... so I was up with her. Hmmm. There seems to be a trend.
It will be a minor miracle if I do not get this vomiting thing.
Tonight I will be at Tommy's Lounge bartending. Should be a good time. I am hoping that by writing down my tales of woe and vomit I won't have to regale my customers with them. They dont' care. At all. Neither do you, probably, but no one is paying to read this blog!! haha.
Here's hoping that no one else comes down with this and I have to nurse them back to health!!
Lauren got the sickness last night. SO, that makes a trifecta of sick children for me. 2 nights, all 3 girls sick. She was up for approximately the same number of hours vomiting, but it was easier, because there was one of her, she is older, and I don't have to do as much work, and hers started at 9:40 and ended at 2:30 AM. Poor kid. She is marching in the Christmas City of the North Parade tonight so she was so worried. I let her sleep in until 9 then brought her to school.
There is also a TRIFECTA of nights that I haven't slept. The night in between the vomiting Johnson Girls (that could be a sick band name... no pun intended) I spent with poor sick Auntie Helen. She had her tonsils removed 9 days ago and still isnt' feeling well. She took some medicine that made her sick and was up most of the night vomiting.... so I was up with her. Hmmm. There seems to be a trend.
It will be a minor miracle if I do not get this vomiting thing.
Tonight I will be at Tommy's Lounge bartending. Should be a good time. I am hoping that by writing down my tales of woe and vomit I won't have to regale my customers with them. They dont' care. At all. Neither do you, probably, but no one is paying to read this blog!! haha.
Here's hoping that no one else comes down with this and I have to nurse them back to health!!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sickness - 2 for 1
My lucky streak of good health seems to have run out.
On Tuesday the girls came off the bus in a whirlwind of crying, carrying on, and a hint of band odor...
Kennedi was beside herself. She was crying, and nearly hyperventilating. She ran through my office, and into the bathroom and locked the door. I called through the door and tried to ask her what was wrong. She choked out that she couldn't talk about it.
Maddie then came through the door with tears in her eyes. "What in the world is going on??" I asked. She said, "Braxton threw up on the bus and it got on me!!!" Oh, gross. I asked her if she was ok. She said yes. I then asked her if it got on Kennedi. Her reply was, NO. So I grabbed all the jackets and put them in the washer.
Kennedi was still in the bathroom. She let me in and I asked her why she was upset. She said because it "nearly" got on her and she had to look at it. Now, you may not know this, but Kennedi has a little bit of a germ problem. well, a big germ problem. She cannot tolerate bodily fluids. She hates the thought of saliva. She obviously can't tolerate vomit either. She spent 10 minutes in the bathroom decompressing and getting over herself.
This was at 3:40 PM. At 11:40 PM, the girls both came into my room and said they were sick. Kennedi made it into the bathroom to throw up. Madelyn threw up in her bed. A lot. I dont' know why she didn't try to go anywhere, she just sat in her bed and threw up. I went down to strip the bed.... and usually it doesn't bother me at all, but this was really bad. I'll spare you the details, but I will say that once I got all the sheets and blankets off, I threw them OUTSIDE!!!
Every 20 minutes all night long the girls were throwing up. We stayed in the living room all night. Each girl with their own bucket and a towel. Around 2 AM Maddie got diarrhea. At one point she called for her bucket while she was on the toilet. Poor kid was going to the bathroom and heaving at the same time.
Kennedi was disgusted by Maddie because she wasn't using her towel to wipe her mouth!!
All of this ended around 5 AM. I had to get up at 5:45 AM to work....
Needless to say, those two girls didn't go to school. They rested until about 10 when, like magic, they were fine. They ate ice cream, pizza, and Sprite, and were all better. At one point Kennedi came into my office and said that Madelyn smelled like puke and I had to do something with her. So I ran a bath and they each had one. Kennedi first, of course!!
No one else got it, so I am thankful for that!!
Now, this might sound terrible, but actually, I would much rather have one night of awful-ness and get 2/3 of the kids done with at once. Lauren never got it, so it didn't drag out.... but a 2 for 1 deal isn't all that bad.
This must be a true testament to the fact that I am either (a) insane or (b) a good mom to several children. I vote (a)!!!!
Here's to your health.... and a good night's sleep for all.
On Tuesday the girls came off the bus in a whirlwind of crying, carrying on, and a hint of band odor...
Kennedi was beside herself. She was crying, and nearly hyperventilating. She ran through my office, and into the bathroom and locked the door. I called through the door and tried to ask her what was wrong. She choked out that she couldn't talk about it.
Maddie then came through the door with tears in her eyes. "What in the world is going on??" I asked. She said, "Braxton threw up on the bus and it got on me!!!" Oh, gross. I asked her if she was ok. She said yes. I then asked her if it got on Kennedi. Her reply was, NO. So I grabbed all the jackets and put them in the washer.
Kennedi was still in the bathroom. She let me in and I asked her why she was upset. She said because it "nearly" got on her and she had to look at it. Now, you may not know this, but Kennedi has a little bit of a germ problem. well, a big germ problem. She cannot tolerate bodily fluids. She hates the thought of saliva. She obviously can't tolerate vomit either. She spent 10 minutes in the bathroom decompressing and getting over herself.
This was at 3:40 PM. At 11:40 PM, the girls both came into my room and said they were sick. Kennedi made it into the bathroom to throw up. Madelyn threw up in her bed. A lot. I dont' know why she didn't try to go anywhere, she just sat in her bed and threw up. I went down to strip the bed.... and usually it doesn't bother me at all, but this was really bad. I'll spare you the details, but I will say that once I got all the sheets and blankets off, I threw them OUTSIDE!!!
Every 20 minutes all night long the girls were throwing up. We stayed in the living room all night. Each girl with their own bucket and a towel. Around 2 AM Maddie got diarrhea. At one point she called for her bucket while she was on the toilet. Poor kid was going to the bathroom and heaving at the same time.
Kennedi was disgusted by Maddie because she wasn't using her towel to wipe her mouth!!
All of this ended around 5 AM. I had to get up at 5:45 AM to work....
Needless to say, those two girls didn't go to school. They rested until about 10 when, like magic, they were fine. They ate ice cream, pizza, and Sprite, and were all better. At one point Kennedi came into my office and said that Madelyn smelled like puke and I had to do something with her. So I ran a bath and they each had one. Kennedi first, of course!!
No one else got it, so I am thankful for that!!
Now, this might sound terrible, but actually, I would much rather have one night of awful-ness and get 2/3 of the kids done with at once. Lauren never got it, so it didn't drag out.... but a 2 for 1 deal isn't all that bad.
This must be a true testament to the fact that I am either (a) insane or (b) a good mom to several children. I vote (a)!!!!
Here's to your health.... and a good night's sleep for all.
Monday, November 16, 2009
New Routines
Today we are starting a new morning routine. The background for it started last week at the Hasty's house.
Eric's Aunt Helen (God Bless this woman) had to have her tonsils taken out last week. I went with her and drove her. I also stayed with her to help take care of the kids. She is raising her grandchildren. So although she is ________ years old (I won't spill it on here Auntie!!) she is raising 7 and 9 year old kids. Anyway....
When I got up on Thursday morning with the kids, they came out of their room with their clothes already on. They have their own alarm clocks that wake them up and they set them and get up on their own and get dressed in their rooms. Their backpacks were ready by the door, their shoes were ready, their coats were ready and they sat down at the table. All they wanted to know was what was for breakfast at school, and what the option was at home. They brushed their hair, brushed their teeth, said good morning, and basically waited inside for the bus. It was so easy -- I couldn't believe it.
I used to think that my kids did ok. Well, not really. I have to constantly remind them to get their hair brushed, make sure Maddie has underwear on (seriously, I have to do this), make sure they all have socks, etc. Sometimes Madelyn will sit in the middle of the floor and ask/demand that we find her socks, shoes, etc. It is madness. Eric doesn't stand for this. He simply yells that they have 15 minutes, hurry up. This causes a lot of crying and wailing and madness. I want our mornings to be happy. Truth is, it is happy for the kids, but not for me. It makes me crazy. I breath a huge sigh of relief when they leave because I put way too much work into this morning routine.
So over the weekend I bought two alarm clocks, one for each room. Last night we set them and set out clothes I and told the girls how this new routine was going to go. This morning it seems to be ok. Not as smooth as the Hasty house, but getting better... So, hopefully by the end of the week, the girls at the Johnson house will be self sufficient in the morning and I can do whatever want/need to do in the morning that doesn't involve personally dressing a 6 year old!!
Eric's Aunt Helen (God Bless this woman) had to have her tonsils taken out last week. I went with her and drove her. I also stayed with her to help take care of the kids. She is raising her grandchildren. So although she is ________ years old (I won't spill it on here Auntie!!) she is raising 7 and 9 year old kids. Anyway....
When I got up on Thursday morning with the kids, they came out of their room with their clothes already on. They have their own alarm clocks that wake them up and they set them and get up on their own and get dressed in their rooms. Their backpacks were ready by the door, their shoes were ready, their coats were ready and they sat down at the table. All they wanted to know was what was for breakfast at school, and what the option was at home. They brushed their hair, brushed their teeth, said good morning, and basically waited inside for the bus. It was so easy -- I couldn't believe it.
I used to think that my kids did ok. Well, not really. I have to constantly remind them to get their hair brushed, make sure Maddie has underwear on (seriously, I have to do this), make sure they all have socks, etc. Sometimes Madelyn will sit in the middle of the floor and ask/demand that we find her socks, shoes, etc. It is madness. Eric doesn't stand for this. He simply yells that they have 15 minutes, hurry up. This causes a lot of crying and wailing and madness. I want our mornings to be happy. Truth is, it is happy for the kids, but not for me. It makes me crazy. I breath a huge sigh of relief when they leave because I put way too much work into this morning routine.
So over the weekend I bought two alarm clocks, one for each room. Last night we set them and set out clothes I and told the girls how this new routine was going to go. This morning it seems to be ok. Not as smooth as the Hasty house, but getting better... So, hopefully by the end of the week, the girls at the Johnson house will be self sufficient in the morning and I can do whatever want/need to do in the morning that doesn't involve personally dressing a 6 year old!!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Blah blah blah
I have a feeling that this post of randomness wont' have any cohesion, so there is no point in pretending to give it a worthy title! But, I thought an EXTREME CLOSE UP of myself my make you giggle!!
First of all, I have to tell you that I am one of the most uncoordinated people, ever. I fell UP the stairs yesterday. I was running (there is my first problem) upstairs to get something for Eric (second problem) in my slippers (third problem) and tripped. I landed on the stair with my knee. It hurt instantly, of course, but thought I could live. Today it isn't so good. Terrible shades of purple and red with no skin on it. Great. Like I needed that!! Oh well, it's been a while since I "pulled a Kandi", so I guess it was time.
This weekend was opening hunting. Eric went to his brother Marty's house for hunting as usual. They always get together and hunt and eat and do whatever it is they do. Thank God for Kaley and her patience with them! I spent the weekend at home cleaning. If you refer to previous posts you will see that cleaning isn't really my thing. I don't love doing it, but this weekend, it really needed to get the house in order. I had an opportunity to go spend some time with my dear friends Heather, Gail and Karen, but I opted to stay home and get things done. And, boy did I! I cleaned every room in the house. It was really a good thing. However, I had to do this feat with the kids under foot. That was the impressive part. I am trying very hard to keep it clean, but we'll see how it goes.
Another reason that I got the house clean was so that I could get the elliptical machine into my house. Now, I have no room for this piece of equiment. I am the first to admit it. But, it was free, my cousin Clay gave it to me, and who am I to turn it down?! It's not like I don't NEED it, so I took it. It is currently residing in my living room. I spent 10 minutes on it yesterday morning. If you have never been on an elliptical, then it seems like 10 minutes isn't much. HOWEVER, if you have ever been on one, you know that 10 minutes is an eternity. The kids watched me, so they asked questions like, Why is your back wet? Why is your hair funky? Why are you breathing like that? Thanks kid... go away.
Tree season is going well. Eric got a contract from one of our contacts from last year for several hundred bundles and that will get us through the year. Eric is already laid off... which is very early and not so good, really. But, things will work out.
On a lighter note, I have been booked for several bartending gigs from now through Christmas. I am excited to do it, and the extra money from tips will be helpful! So, come on out and see me at Tommy's! I'll be there, and I'm sure I will have plenty of things to say to keep you entertained!!!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Disco Fondue Night
Last night I learned how to Fondue. I could say I learned how to disco, but really, I still don't dance all that well. I really like it, but I can't say I learned how.
My friends Jess and Tom recently opened up a business in town. They have a bar opened on Friday and Saturday nights. They do events like comedy nights, plays, dances, things like that. Last night was a Disco/Fondue party. Eric and I dressed up to go. Well, I dressed up and Eric wore brown courdoroy pants and put on some fancy gold jewelry. As you can see, THIS I do have pictures of!
So much fun. The fondue meat was pretty good. I think I would really enjoy it with cheese. I'm a cheese lover. Lots of cheese, the more the better, really. But, we had salad, and potatoes and vegetables to go with our fondue meat. Again, so much fun. Then the disco music began and Jess and I danced a lot.
Eric and I went with our friends the Rauvolas and the Duseks, but really at Tommy's, everyone kind of mingles. It's not a typical bar scene. The bar is quite small, with no bar stools. Round tables are set out to encourage talking and visiting. I really enjoy going there. In fact, I bartended there last weekend. That was a great time too.
I also had a great visit and fun time with a newly single friend of mine. I had her back and sort of told her when it was time to leave and how to gracefully exit a conversation with a man who was a little too friendly. Not sure why I know that, or how I know that... Afterall, Eric and I have been married almost 14 years! But, I do, and I did, and she's very grateful. Love ya!
All in all, it was a great night. I have posted pictures for your viewing pleasure. A few people didn't recognize me and told me I looked like a totally different person. Maybe the blue eyeshadow is a good look for me! Or it could be the Olivia Newton-John headband. What do you think?
Friday, November 6, 2009
Pumpkin Head
This post would be so much better with a picture. Really. I have one on my phone, and if I can get a cord to get it to my computer I sure will.
Tuesday morning when I went to get the goats out of the hut and fence to go on their feeding frenzy, I noticed that one was missing. It was my favorite, Frank. So, I was looking all over and was calling for her.
Finally, she ambled out of the hut, with this crazy pumpkin necklace on!! First, I'll explain that goats, like deer, love pumpkins. After Halloween we put all of our jack-o-lanterns out for the goats to eat.
So, Frank stuck her head in the top of a jack-o-lantern. In the spot were you dig out all the guts. She must have eaten her way through the face part, you know, where you carve out the eyes, nose and scary grin. Then she was stuck. So, this large pumpkin was stuck around her neck. Apparently it was there all night! Hysterical. I called for Eric to (a) see it, and to (b) remove it. We laughed for a while and then he broke it off of her. She was shaking her head and walking sort of strange. She was also yawning and moving really slowly. I suppose she had a hard time sleeping with that on her head!!!
Silly goats.
Tuesday morning when I went to get the goats out of the hut and fence to go on their feeding frenzy, I noticed that one was missing. It was my favorite, Frank. So, I was looking all over and was calling for her.
Finally, she ambled out of the hut, with this crazy pumpkin necklace on!! First, I'll explain that goats, like deer, love pumpkins. After Halloween we put all of our jack-o-lanterns out for the goats to eat.
So, Frank stuck her head in the top of a jack-o-lantern. In the spot were you dig out all the guts. She must have eaten her way through the face part, you know, where you carve out the eyes, nose and scary grin. Then she was stuck. So, this large pumpkin was stuck around her neck. Apparently it was there all night! Hysterical. I called for Eric to (a) see it, and to (b) remove it. We laughed for a while and then he broke it off of her. She was shaking her head and walking sort of strange. She was also yawning and moving really slowly. I suppose she had a hard time sleeping with that on her head!!!
Silly goats.
Another Goat Parade
So, the goats had a play date yesterday!
I got a phone call from my neighbor yesterday asking if I was "missing 5 goats". I said, well, I'm not sure if I am missing them or not. I am working and haven't looked outside lately. She said well they are over here in my yard. The neighbors live about half a mile away with two fields between us. I said, well if they aren't bothering you I'd like to let them stay. She agreed that it was ok. I kept an eye on them over there throughout the day -- I could see them in the field. She called again in the afternoon to tell me that they were being really good. (ummm... ok, thanks?)
I sent Eric over there on the 6x6 to pick them up. They ignored him! He didn't bring food or anything; but he called them and called them and they looked at him like he was crazy. Then Eric had to go to work.
So, after I got done with work I jumped on the 6x6 and drove across the field to get my goats. All I had to do was drive over there and say "Hey Goat Girls" and they came running! Once again, I was the Grand Marshall of a goat parade. They came running and chased me all the way home. Crying and running all the way. Silly goats!
I put them away in the fence, gave them some hay and grain, and a few buckets of water. Within 30 minutes they were all sound asleep. Oh, silly goats! I just love them!!
I got a phone call from my neighbor yesterday asking if I was "missing 5 goats". I said, well, I'm not sure if I am missing them or not. I am working and haven't looked outside lately. She said well they are over here in my yard. The neighbors live about half a mile away with two fields between us. I said, well if they aren't bothering you I'd like to let them stay. She agreed that it was ok. I kept an eye on them over there throughout the day -- I could see them in the field. She called again in the afternoon to tell me that they were being really good. (ummm... ok, thanks?)
I sent Eric over there on the 6x6 to pick them up. They ignored him! He didn't bring food or anything; but he called them and called them and they looked at him like he was crazy. Then Eric had to go to work.
So, after I got done with work I jumped on the 6x6 and drove across the field to get my goats. All I had to do was drive over there and say "Hey Goat Girls" and they came running! Once again, I was the Grand Marshall of a goat parade. They came running and chased me all the way home. Crying and running all the way. Silly goats!
I put them away in the fence, gave them some hay and grain, and a few buckets of water. Within 30 minutes they were all sound asleep. Oh, silly goats! I just love them!!
Virus recovery
So, you may think that means our family had the swine flu. Nope. Not yet. My beloved computer contracted a virus.
Now I hate to place blame on anyone (Eric), because I know that viruses can really happen to anyone (Eric), but I have never gotten a virus in all the years I've owned a computer. Ok, enough. It is back now. Thank goodness! It's been a long long week without my computer!
I'm back and I have plenty to talk about. Stay tuned!
Now I hate to place blame on anyone (Eric), because I know that viruses can really happen to anyone (Eric), but I have never gotten a virus in all the years I've owned a computer. Ok, enough. It is back now. Thank goodness! It's been a long long week without my computer!
I'm back and I have plenty to talk about. Stay tuned!
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